Introduction
This qualitative study investigates the effects of self-esteem and
self-control on children, and compares commonly held perception of parents,
which were gathered through semi-structured interviews, with published
academic research gathered through a literature review of topics that are
related to self-esteem, self-control, and their effect on children.
The effects of self-esteem versus self-control on raising children
were chosen for several reasons:
The first is that the
self-esteem movement which started in the 1970’s
The second reason is that inflated praise of children has been the
immediate byproduct of the self-esteem movement, which recent research
indicates that it is negatively correlated to self-esteem
The third reason is that raising well-adjusted children is a
complicated, laborious, and time-intensive process, which should be preparing
children to be able to take care of themselves
The purpose of the semi-structured interview was to compare
commonly held parenting perceptions and beliefs with current academic
publications that discuss the implications of self-esteem and self-control on
the outcome of well-adjusted children.
Thematic
Analysis and Results
After coding and analyzing the data
derived from the semi-structured interviews that were conducted with a random
sample of parents, several themes have emerged.
Common
Beliefs
Several common beliefs and
perceptions were shared among the research participants. Some of those beliefs
can be related with current psychological research, while others can be
related with popular culture literature.
All interview subjects agreed that
childhood experiences have an impact on adult personality, which is consistent
with current psychological research and the description of childhood as
“formative years”
There was consensus among the
interview participants that well-adjusted children are respectful. Also, the
concept of respect was linked to the concept of boundaries, as in “know their
limits”, which was expressed in the third question and the ninth question as
well. This linking of well-adjustment with respect is a theme that can also be
observed in current psychological research
Also participants emphasized the
importance of setting rules for children to abide by, which were also linked
to the concept boundaries, with one male participant answering “without rules,
it means that you have no limits for anything”.
The shared opinions of interview
participants demonstrated an explicit perceived connection between the
concepts of respect, rules, and boundaries, and the notion of a well-adjusted
child.
Success
Success was expressed as a byproduct of positive emotions and
self-esteem, with one female participant stating “people who have a high
self-esteem are people who keep trying in life I believe, they don’t need
others to help them overcome challenges in life, and they are very much
self-motivated, once they have a high self-esteem”. Current scientific
literature does support that positive emotions and high self-esteem are
correlated with success and positive life outcome
Self-control
Self-esteem was perceived to have a causal relationship with
self-control, where self-esteem causes self-control.
Also, self-control was not seen by interview participants as a
personal attribute that has an explicit connection with success or having a well-adjusted
child.
Empathy
The
fifth question of the interview which asked participants “When children
participate in competitive activities, which do you believe is better:
rewarding the winner or rewarding both the winner and loser, and why?”
received similar answers from all participants where they though that both the
winner and the loser should be rewarded. Moreover, when asked to elaborate, it
was indicated that “you should put yourself in other people’s place”.
Motivation
Another
underlying theme in the interviews was the importance of motivating children
to become achievement oriented, however the results were mixed when it came to
the method of motivation. Some parents preferred the use of goals and goal
setting; other preferred the use of praise. For example, when a male
participant was asked how he would motivate is children, he answered “good
words, well I’m against money you know”.
Discussion
of Findings
The result of the qualitative
research that was conducted through a semi-structured interview has revealed
the following findings:
Parents do appreciate the importance of childhood as having a
formative effect on personality, which is also consistent with current
psychological research
Parent’s perception of a well-adjusted child is focused mostly on
obedience, which was indicated by their emphasis on the importance of having a
respectful child that knows his or her limitations or boundaries. This finding
implies that parents expect well-adjusted children to exert self-control;
however, they were incapable of expressing the existence of a relationship
between self-esteem and well-adjustment explicitly.
Parent’s perception of a well-adjusted child is also consistent
with how a well-adjusted child is described in current psychological
literature, however the description of well-adjusted children goes beyond
obedience, where such children are described as capable of distinguishing
between the self and others, and can regulate, express and emotions, and able
to reason, feel, and behave morally
Another finding of this qualitative research was revolved around
parent’s perception of the relationship of self-esteem and success. Parents
believed that self-esteem has a causal relationship with success and
achievement. Even though self-esteem and success are correlated
Moreover, interview participants also held the perception that
increasing children’s self-esteem can aid in the process of self-control, by
reasoning that self-esteem can build confidence and nurture positive emotions,
which enables the individual to exert self-control. When compared with current
psychological research, high levels of self-esteem are correlated with high
levels of self-control
Another issue that was indicated by the question that had to do
with rewards and competitive activity, was parent’s willingness to hand out
trophies and rewards for children that loose. This willingness was rooted in
feelings of empathy towards the loosing child, which was expressed in
statements like this “the looser shouldn’t walk away with anything” or “you
should put yourself in other people’s place”. Even though empathy, which is
the ability to feel other’s emotions, which is also a positive attribute when
it comes to social relationships
This lack of willingness to have unequal outcomes for children in
competitive environments can possibly result in lower self-esteem in children
that were not taught how to deal with loss and aversive situations
Achievement was valued among participants of the interview, but
the methods implemented to motivate children to achieve varied. One approach
expressed by a female participant was that of setting goals, which is
consistent with current motivational theory
Research
Evaluation
Research into the effects of self-esteem and self-control were
conducted through a literature review of related topics, which was followed by
a qualitative research, operationalized through semi-structured interviews,
with the findings compared with existing data.
Such methods are ideal when conducting exploratory, due to the
volume of research and publications which can be covered relevant to a
specific topic and due to the unexpected outcomes and leads which can be
generated for future investigation. However, the major weakness of conducting
qualitative research is the lack of ability of producing generalizable
findings
Moreover, the incidence of biases which can result due to the
direct interaction with research participants is higher than that of more
structured research approaches, especially those which apply the experimental
method
Implications
This qualitative research has reinforced the finding of the
literature review, where the popular belief that self-esteem is a better
indicator of achievement is prevalent. When compared with the scientific and
psychological literature that self-esteem is a byproduct of achievement
However, since this research is of qualitative data, further
qualitative data is required to validate the findings and explore the research
paths that have been generated. For example, exploring the relationship
between the uses of praise versus the use of financial incentives by parents,
and how they are related can be explored through the use of quantitative
research methods.
This qualitative research was hand coded; it could have been also
coded through qualitative data analysis (QDA) software. The major advantages
of QDA software over hand coding is that it facilitates organization, facilitates
the use of time stamps, adds the possibility of linking videos and files to
the research, and facilitates the search to the indexed data. The major thing
that QDA software can’t do is research. Therefore, since it allows easier
access to organized indexed data, it might aid the researcher to produce
analysis that are broader in scope and well-reasoned analysis
Appendix
– Coded Data
Interviewer: In your opinion, do childhood experiences have any impact on
adult personality? F: Definitely, they
shape a lot their personality when they become adults and it impacts I think
a lot their behavior in general. M: Definitely Interviewer: So what is your idea of a well-adjusted child? As in a well
raised child? F: Good question, I believe in the idea that a child should be
well behaved, respectful towards
people, doesn’t, knows
his limits of
what to demand and when to demand it, has good self-control as well. M: First of all, respect. Interviewer: Ok, would you expect children to follow rules? M: Yes F: Yes Interviewer: How important are rules in your opinion? M: Its very important, without
rules, it means that you have no limits for anything. |
Shared
Opinions |
Interviewer: So what is your idea of a well-adjusted child? As in a well
raised child? F: Good question, I believe in the idea that a child should be
well behaved, respectful towards
people, doesn’t, knows
his limits of
what to demand and when to demand it, has good self-control as well. M: First of all, respect. Interviewer: Ok, would you expect children to follow rules? M: Yes F: Yes Interviewer: How important are rules in your opinion? M: Its very important, without
rules, it means that you have no limits for anything. |
Well-adjustment
attributes |
Interviewer: So which in your opinion contributes to success more,
self-esteem or self-control? F: I believe its self-esteem Interviewer: Self-esteem more than
self-control? F: Yes Interviewer: Alright, would you like to elaborate further? F: Because if someone has a good…, I’ve seen this in people when
they grow up…, I’ve tried to analyze it myself, not linking it to childhood,
people who have a high self-esteem are people who
keep trying in life I believe,
they don’t need others to help them overcome challenges in life, and they are
very much self-motivated, once
they have a high self-esteem. M: I think self-esteem |
Related
to Success |
Interviewer: Self-control is being able to control your impulses;
self-esteem is the feeling that you have towards yourself. Are they linked
in any way? F: Tough question. I never thought about it but I think, I think
they could be related. Interviewer: would you like to elaborate further or we move onto the next
question? F: No, I think, how can they be related? I you’re strong enough. I
mean if your self-enthusiasm is
strong enough to know when to react or to control your reaction. I think I
mean, what I want to say is, if you’re happy
with yourself, I believe you’re
going to be able to control yourself better, but if you’re not
happy with yourself, and if you feel like you’re not as enthusiastic about
something, then you might have an issue with controlling how you feel
towards it. So its more of confidence and enthusiasm are linked together. Interviewer: Where does self-esteem and self-control, or do they actually
play a role when you want to motivate your children to become achievement
oriented. F: Very much, I think I would focus a lot on self-esteem and
building their self-esteem because that builds
confidence, and with confidence I
believe that you would learn how to do self-control. |
Related
to self-control |
Interviewer: Alright, so my next question to you is, when children
participate in competitive activities, which do you believe is better,
rewarding the winner, or rewarding both the winner and the loser? F: I think because it’s a competition, one person, someone has to
win, I don’t think you should reward both the winner and the loser, but I
believe that the loser should not walk away
without anything. I mean, one can be given a higher prize that
the other just for them to feel the sportsmanship. M: Because if you don’t lose you don’t win. You should put yourself in other people’s place. |
Empathy |
Interviewer: As a parent, would you motivate your children to become
achievement oriented? F: Yes Interviewer: Would you like to elaborate further? F: Because, I believe that goals
are important in life and if they don’t set goals
for themselves and try to achieve them,
they will not succeed in life in general, and in anything whether it’s an
emotional aspect or a financial aspect or any other aspect in life. It’s
very important. M: I have to, yeah, yeah. I encourage them also Interviewer: How would you encourage your children? M: Good
words, well I’m against money you know |
Motivation
|
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