Research
Question
Is self-control a more effective
measure than self-esteem for raising well-adjusted and higher achieving
children?
Literature
Review
Childhood is an important stage of psychological development, which
has a lasting effect on people’s personalities and conduct throughout adulthood
and the remainder of their lives (Twenge & Campbell, 2017), hence the description
of childhood as “formative years” (Woodruff, Bolen, & Thomas, 2004).
A socially well-adjusted child is one that distinguishes between
the self and others, has the ability to understand, express, and regulate
emotions, and possess the ability to feel, reason, and behave morally (Santrock, 2016).
The effects of self-esteem versus self-control on raising children were
chosen for several reasons:
The first is that the self-esteem
movement which started in the 1970’s (Baumeister, Campbell, Krueger, & Vohs, 2003) has been greatly
influential in western society, and in child rearing literature (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans, & Castro, 2017).
The second reason is that inflated praise of children has been the
immediate byproduct of the self-esteem movement, which recent research
indicates that it is negatively correlated to self-esteem (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans, & Castro, 2017).
The third reason is that raising well-adjusted children is a
complicated, laborious, and time-intensive process, which should be preparing
children to be able to take care of themselves (Santrock, 2016). Therefore the effects of having
children practice self-control and being achievement oriented, has been
indicated by recent research to have a long-term positive impact on self-esteem
and achievement (Baumiester & Tierney, 2012).
After presenting the reasons, what follows is: defining
self-esteem, self-control, and their relationship with each other, and their
impact on childhood development.
Self-esteem is defined as the person’s sense of self-worth and
overall self-evaluation (Myers & Campbell, 2016), children high in
self-esteem usually seek feelings of adequacy and connection with others (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans, & Castro, 2017).
Self-control on the other hand is another self-concept, where individuals
exert conscious control over their impulses and behaviors (Myers & Campbell, 2016). Self-control can be
developed in children by establishing a reward and punishment system that is
swiftly and consistently enforced by parents (Baumiester & Tierney, 2012).
A strong correlation exists between self-control and achievement,
for individuals to be able to accomplish difficult tasks; they must be able to
suppress the impulse for instant gratification (Fourie, 2017). Moreover, Walter Mischel conducted an
experiment on children’s ability to delay gratification by having them stare at
a marshmallow and telling them if they eat it directly they’d only have this
one, however it they wait 15 minutes, they would get 2 marshmallows. Those that
were able to delay gratification, also showed higher academic success (Mischel, et
al., 2011).
There is a popular assumption that self-esteem is nurtured through praise,
however this assumption is not supported scientifically. A 2017 journal article
was produced as a result of a longitudinal study conducted in the Netherlands
that studied the effect of praise on self-esteem. Its findings showed that
moderate praise had no to minimal impact on self-esteem; however inflated
praise had a negative impact by deflating self-esteem. Moreover, the same study
also found that inflated praise was correlated with narcissism in children with
high self-esteem, even though there is no direct correlation between
self-esteem and narcissism in children (Brummelman, Thomaes, Nelemans,
& Castro, 2017). Moreover, a 1990 research by Sandra Graham
shows that praising children at mundane or easy tasks have the possibility to
lower self-perceived competence (Graham, 1990).
Raising children’s self-esteem is not a direct and straightforward process;
it can be nurtured indirectly though bonding with their parents, and having
their parents show interest in their activities (Brummelman E. , et al., 2015)
As a conclusion, the research that was cited in this literature
review indicated self-control resulted in well-adjusted and high achieving children (Baumiester
& Tierney, 2012). Moreover, self-esteem appears to be a
product of achievement (Brummelman E. , Thomaes,
Nelemans, & Castro, 2017), where achievement
builds a sense of worthiness, and when this worthiness is internalized into
self-worth; it leads to higher levels of self-esteem (Baumiester
& Tierney, 2012).
References
Baumeister, R. F., Campbell, J. D.,
Krueger, J. I., & Vohs, K. D. (2003). Does high self-esteem cause better
performance, interpersonal success, happiness, or healthier lifestyles? Psychological
Science in Public Interst, 1-44.
Baumiester, R., & Tierney, J. (2012). Chapter
9: Raising strong children: self-esteem versus self-control. In Willpower:
Rediscovering the Greatest human Strength. New York: Penguin Group.
Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S. A., de
Castro, B. O., Overbeek, G., & Bushman, B. J. (2015). Origins of narcissim
in children. PNAS Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the
United States of America, 3659–3662.
Brummelman, E., Thomaes, S., Nelemans, S., &
Castro, B. O. (2017). When parents praise inflates, childrens' self-esteem
deflates. Child Development, 1799-1809.
Fourie, J. (2017). Want to be rich? be patient. Finweek,
6.
Graham, S. (1990). The down side of help: an
attributional-developmental analysis of helping behavior as a low-ability cue. Journal
of Educational Psychology, 7-14.
Mischel, W., Ayduk, O., Berman, M. G., Casey, B.
J., Gotlib, I. H., Jonides, J., & Shoda, Y. (2011). ‘Willpower’ over the
life span: decomposing self-regulation. Social Cognitive & Affective
Neuroscience, 252-256.
Myers, D., & Campbell, J. (2016). The self in
a social world. In Social Psychology (pp. 27-60). New York: McGraw Hill.
Santrock, J. S. (2016). Socioemotional development
in early childhood. In Children 13th Edition (pp. 304-340). New York :
McGraw Hill.
Twenge, J., & Campbell, K. (2017). Personality
across the lifespan. In Personality Psychology (pp. 240-225). New York:
Pearson.
Woodruff, C., Bolen, Y., & Thomas, B. (2004).
A rationale for art education in the formative years: early childhood and
elementary preservice teacher perspective. Review of Higher Education &
Self-Learning, 106-110.